Gracie's Appointment

Today we had another appointment to check on Gracie. We actually got to see Dr. Rinehart so we were really excited about that. He took a good look at Gracie to see how she was doing. He said that the holoprosencepahly is still present and he still suspects a hole in the upper part of her heart. He also said that it looks like she might have only one valve going into the top of the heart when usually your suppose to have two. Her cleft is still pretty significant. But, we saw a nose. That's right a tiny little nose was visible on her profile. It delighted my heart to see it! Then he started measuring her belly, head, and femur bones. That's when we got the bad news. He believes that Gracie has stopped growing. He can't say he's 100% sure but at our last visit(4 weeks ago) she was 2 weeks behind developmentally. Today she was 4 weeks behind developmentally. He said that usually when a baby stops growing that the end is typically near. Obviously, we are still in a waiting game but he said that a lack of growth significantly increases the risk of an early death. He wanted to see me back in two weeks but we will be in TN for Christmas. He told us to go ahead and go....that even if we stayed it wouldn't make any difference for Gracie. We just need to be ready at any moment to come back to Dallas if I should stop feeling movements. For some reason, I feel that he thinks that Gracie will not survive too much longer.
Of course this is not what we were wanting to hear. Obviously we wanted to hear that things were looking better or that she was about the same. We have been praying for the Lord to give us some kind of sign as to how he might work in this situation. When I saw Gracie's little nose I thought , "Okay, maybe this is our sign." I didn't know noses could form this late in the pregnancy. But, then we learned about her not growing and I felt that God was telling me something completely different than before. I don't want to lose hope but right now I feel so defeated. I know that God could still work a miracle in little Gracie but how do I know that what we learned today isn't God preparing us for what's to come. I guess it all boils down to my trust in the Lord.
I always knew that this was a possiblity but now that it's here I am scared. Scared of what the next couple of weeks could hold. Scared of decisions that we will have to make that no parent should ever have to think about.
Here are a few ways that you can specifically pray for us:
1. A miracle for Gracie
2. That Gracie will start growing
3. That God will prepre us for what's to come
4. That I will continue to feel her kick each day
Thanks again for your prayers.